“Cosmia” — Joanna Newsom

If you didn’t know, I’m an English major. And if you didn’t know, I’m almost finished with my English major. I think I’m lucky—a lot of people in Humanities majors aren’t really sure what they hope to achieve with what they learned in college, but I knew exactly what I wanted when I was a junior in high school.

It was 2007 and I had a close friend who used to play Joanna Newsom quietly in her room when we hung out after school. I was revolted by the noise I heard as the powerful wails of The Milk-Eyed Mender took over the room even when the volume was low. Looking back now, I can still see how one may want to avoid listening to that album (despite the strong following it has maintained). It’s not easy, but a lot of good music isn’t always immediate. Over time I became a fan of a few melodies from the album, and I decided to look further into Ms. Newsom’s work. 

It was then I discovered “Cosmia”. The voice was still aggressive, but it needs to be. This was the year leading up to my coming out, so it wasn’t even possible for me to tell anyone that I had been in love and heartbroken by a boy that year. But I had “Cosmia”. Aggressive because it needs to me—I can feel it as she cries out,”AND I MISS YOUR PRECIOUS HEART!” That boy and Ys were the most important things to happen to me that year, and I’m glad I still have one over the other. 

I would only listen to Ys, and I literally mean that. It took over my life, and it seemed to go hand in hand with the Romantic poetry I had been reading in school. I realized that there is so much in that album—it’s extremely personal to Newsom, but it’s human enough to relate to. It’s extensive in its study of relationships—family, friendship, lovers, motherhood—and I am forever captivated by it. 

I realized that year that thinking and writing about contemporary music like Joanna Newsom’s is what I would want to do. Besides her, I am also interested in Sufjan Stevens’ work—which is also immense and thought provoking. I’m fortunate enough to have an English professor this quarter who I discussed these things with, and she was really supportive and gave me many resources to look into. I’m not alone in wanting to study contemporary music like this—but it still seems open enough to continually excite me.

So this is “Cosmia”. The song that started it all for me. I honestly believe my life would be very different if I never discovered Ys. I’m always thankful for that friend who played The Milk-Eyed Mender in the background, because I can’t imagine not having these works in my life.